Much of these tips come from a recent article from the American Psychological Association by professor Dave Smallen who is in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Wisconsin.  We certainly don't want to plagiarize or copy the entire article so I'll provide a summary of some of his key findings that hopefully will help you in your process of forgiveness.  

Essentially Professor Smallen breaks down forgiveness into steps and a process.  By understanding the process you can better come the grips that forgiveness is actually possible and even beneficial to your overall well being.  

First, there is an acknowledgement of resentment and that you have been wronged.  What this means that that you first have to be comfortable with you feeling hurt and feeling resentment.  It's ok to feel what you are feeling.  

The next step is realize that you are worth going through the process of forgiveness, because it not only can be difficult but you need self-compassion.  Self-compassion the professor points out has been proven to lead to higher life satisfaction.  You are worth going through the pain of forgiving because in the end you will feel better, and you deserve to feel better.  

Next you have to make the actual decision to forgive.  This is an active decision on your part you are essentially saying that you want to and will forgive, it's an important step as you move forward.  

The next two steps are about looking at the situation through the person that hurt you and then practicing love and kindness.  This is a critical step, no matter what that other person did - it's important to see the situation through their eyes.  Maybe they were really just ignorant, or maybe they were mad, or maybe they really did just do something stupid.  It doesn't make anything better, but it does let you see that there is another person at the other side of this issue.  

You personalize the experience and realize that people make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes.  Then you can move to loving-kindness, this can be a mindfullness technique to get you into the mental framework to forgive.  You essentially are thinking about spreading love to the world, and that extends to people who might not deserve it.  

People of faith have talked about this as either charity or mercy.  

Someone doesn't give a homeless person money because they 'earned' it, but beacuse it's the charitble thing to do.  It's showing mercy.  

Just like you should be careful to what you say to others, you need to be careful what you say to yourself.  

After that, then you can reflect on your whole experience and deepen your understanding of the situation and actually forgive.  

Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's important to validate your own emotions, whether it's guilt, shame, or remorse. Denying these feelings won't make them go away.

Take Responsibility: Understanding and owning your actions is a crucial first step. This doesn't mean you have to continuously blame yourself, but acknowledging your role is essential for moving forward.

Understand the Context: Sometimes our decisions are influenced by factors like stress, trauma, or ignorance. While this doesn't absolve the act, it can offer a more complete picture of why you acted the way you did.

Seek Guidance: Sometimes talking to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional can provide invaluable perspectives that you may not have considered.

Make Amends if Possible: If your actions have harmed others, and it's appropriate and feasible to do so, consider making amends. This could be through direct actions or by striving to act differently in the future.

Learn From the Experience: Sometimes the best thing you can do is to learn from your mistakes. Take concrete steps to educate yourself and grow, ensuring you don't make the same mistake again.

Practice Self-Compassion: This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a good friend. Self-compassion allows you to recognize that making mistakes is a part of being human.

Set Realistic Expectations: Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight. Be prepared for a journey and set realistic milestones for yourself.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become aware of negative thought patterns and make it easier to control your emotional reactions, aiding in the forgiveness process.

Seek Professional Help: If you find that you're unable to move past your guilt or shame, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. Therapists can provide coping strategies tailored specifically for you.

"When the lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves.  Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive - as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness - is the person looking back at us in the mirror."